Certain Uncertainties

You feel like hiding your face in the pillow or sitting in the closet all day, every day. You are so vulnerable that you’re always on the verge of crying and you know that you’ll burst into tears if someone genuinely comes and asks you ‘are you okay?’.

I know. You sit on the grass digging holes in the ground, plucking each blade of grass thinking about their fragile life. You feel lost most of the times. And you’re in a constant state of numbing nothingness where you don’t know anything about what’s happening around you, where you have no answer to any question that is being asked to you. You just sit there, in an irritatingly lost mood, trying to figure out things; trying to figure out life.

So let me tell you this one thing – I don’t know if you’ll ever feel complete, or if you’ll find a way back to love, or if everything in your life will piece together. I don’t know if you’re going to figure out your life, or if you’ll ever get back to being your old self again.
All I can tell you is that I know, and I know for sure is that despite all these problems, all this blankness, you’re going to be alright. You’ll survive. You will be a changed person, yes. But a changed person for good.
You’re going to wake up one day, and I don’t know if you’ll find the sun shining a little brighter, but you’ll find one thing –

You’ll find a way back to yourself.

13 Comments Add yours

  1. Amjad Ansari says:

    I’ve struggled to write this. I’ve wrestled and fought with myself to try to put all the words together in a way that makes sense. I have everything to say, and at the same time, nothing at all. I mean, What you write to someone who inspire you to write? May be I still don’t have the words, I still don’t know what to write.
    For the time being, No. But someday I’ll write to you. I’ll write about the words I swallowed down instead of whispering them and about the things you did to inspire that made me want to believe that people are good and that they still encourage,inspire and care about others.

    As just me, a Human, I Have always thought that my greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others which I couldn’t do much , But I am glad you are doing it well. |

    I am sure, when I will wake up one day, sun will be shining a little brighter that day.

    Like

    1. Aafreen says:

      Hey Amjad,
      I come across a lot of comments that appreciate my work but yours moved me. I don’t read words like yours often on my work so I would take out time to appreciate how beautifully you said all of this without intending to say much. I shall definitely be waiting for a day when you’ll come here a little older and wiser, and you shall find me here, waiting to listen all about it.

      Like

      1. Amjad Ansari says:

        Yeah, Someday I will to decipher every thought to recover their meaning, and I will use 26 letters to express thousands of thoughts or I will be spilling the colors of my mind on paper, I promise I will write all about it and I hope you’ll read it.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Aafreen says:

        I definitely will!

        Like

  2. Sarwat Firoz Qureshi says:

    I stand stupified.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Aafreen says:

    I am happy this piece served its purpose!

    Like

    1. Sarwat Firoz Qureshi says:

      It was the exact expression the way I feel. (I am extremely reluctant to say this. I tried refraining myself from saying so.) Do we all feel similarly?

      Like

      1. Aafreen says:

        Yes, maybe we do.

        Like

      2. Sarwat Firoz Qureshi says:

        What compelled you to respond in ages? I don’t expect any reverts!

        Like

      3. Aafreen says:

        I haven’t been too active on my blog. I guess I had one too many dream lands to wander!

        Like

  4. Sarwat Firoz Qureshi says:

    Aimless wanderer!

    You’re a Scorpion by position of stars! The reason of deep emotional activity! Refrain from it, contain yourself and control exercise else it will leave you half crippled and of no use!

    Auf wiedersehen.

    Like

    1. Aafreen says:

      Well, I also happen to be a rational human who hasn’t lost the touch of reality.

      Like

      1. Sarwat Firoz Qureshi says:

        Good for you!

        Like

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